2024 will soon draw to a close, and I’m starting to reflect upon the past year.
Everyone has their own lives, experiences, perspective. In our increasingly polarized world, its easy to imagine that some of us had a great year, while for others in was horrible. In reality, for almost all of us there were good times and bad times — and every shade of gray in between.
In my little world, it was the most bi-polar year I can remember — plenty of gray, still — but with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
I published a photography book, took more photos than I ever have before, and was fortunate enough to work on projects many photographers can only dream of. And I also got spend a ton of quality time with my family, both at home and out exploring.
Yet I experienced more mental health struggles than I ever have before.
Running a business is stressful, and it amplified my long-time battles with anxiety and depression. As the temperatures in Phoenix soared above 100 degrees for months at a time, I went through two intense bouts of seasonal depression.
During those times I contemplated suicide a thousand times more than I ever have in my life. And then last month my anxiety soared to the point where I went to the ER with a panic attack.
I’m not sharing this for sympathy, to let know that I am human just as you are, and most of us are going through battles, even if our lives look rosy from the outside.
And that’s why I’m sharing this moody photo from the Superstition Mountains. It’s a metaphor for my 2024.
Sometimes I feel like those peaks — soaring to the highest of heights — yet finding myself in a time of darkness. With time, the light will come around to shine again, but when you’re caught in the darkness, its too easy to stay there.
I have to remind myself to look at the big picture — that the light only exists because there are shadows, and the shadows only exist because there is light. To remember to look for the light in spite of the darkness. To just keep looking, because there is hope.
FYI, I’m in a better place now, and I’m hoping for a 2025 where the lows aren’t so low, even if the highs aren’t so high. Wherever you are currently, I hope you can see the light ahead.
Much love,
-Jake
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